Gay and Lesbian Theme Views and Mechanics Publisher's Note Editor's Note Review of This Is Not For You Review of Potato Queen Crossword (Solution Posted in March. Printable version in pdf format of journal.) Creative Nonfiction Tunis, Forever By John Champagne Bisexuality 101 By Evelyn McFarland Poetry Blackouts By Steve Rydman Self Loathing By Steve Rydman A Boy Reads YM By Steve Rydman I Finally Found Me By Lucretia Randle Acorn Boy Above the Conclave By James Penha Fiction As If In Time Of War (1985) By Christopher T. Leland General Works Creative Nonfiction Stone Musings #5 By Mike Munsil Ascent Into Being By Holly Mitchell Fiction Come Winter By Sandra M. McDow The End of Stories By Sonia Vora Coal Blood By Tom Bennitt About the Contributors © 2006, River Walk Journal and respective authors and artists. All rights reserved. Do not use or reproduce without permission. River Walk Journal, Inc. Board of Directors Chairman - Elizabeth Ross Vice Chairman - Joseph Koch Secretary/Treasurer - Geri Stock-Ross Editorial Director - Patti Kurtz, DA Literacy Director - Bill Mausteller Policy Director - vacant Advisory Board Chairman - Patti Kurtz, DA Asst. Chairman - Dan Lachenman, PhD Samuel Hazo Christopher Leland Edwin Yoder Joseph Bathanti Journal Staff Publisher - Elizabeth Ross Editor-In-Chief - Joseph Koch Sen. Fiction Editor - Patti Kurtz Sen. Poetry Editor - Neeldhara Misra Sen. Creative Nonfiction Editor - Brenda Coxe Contributing Editor - Robert Dittman Publicity Director (PA) - Geri Stock-Ross For information about submissions, visit http://www.riverwalkjournal.org/submission.html. Questions about promotions, subscribers' services, and advertising should be sent to publisher@riverwalkjournal.org. River Walk Journal, Inc. is a non-profit corporation run entirely by volunteers. For information about volunteer opportunities and internships, visit http://www.riverwalkjournal.org/volunteer.html. |
Who Are You? "You realize I'm bi-sexual?" The question was said casually, and the reaction was surprisingly calm --- I watched my mother for any signs of emotion, but they didn't come. She said nothing in response to my question, so it was more about what wasn't said. While she maintained her composure, I could feel mine slipping away, mostly because I was still ambivalent about my sexuality --- still am. Some could say that I experimented sexually with women in my younger days, and that those urges had naturally faded, but I still occasionally grapple with varied attractions to women. Because of those feelings, in spite of the fact that I no longer act on them, I consider myself bi-sexual. A friend calls it the ultimate form of sexual fence pole sitting --- I call it an intensely frustrating way to live. Sex and sexuality --- human issues that have been the focus of a tainted association with the Divine --- are at the center of heated debate worldwide. From the creation of civil unions for homosexuals in Great Britain, to Governor Schwarzenegger's refusal to accept similar legislation in California, both the "liberal left" and the "religious right" have deployed the full arsenals. The politics spilled over into my bedroom years ago --- the father of my youngest child is extremely homophobic. On a puerile level, it is amusing to think that a man with that sort of attitude has remained in the presence of a bi-sexual woman for almost six years. When the reality of it sets in it is disheartening for me. I take my small victories when I can get them, and am pleased that I have managed to calm him enough that he no longer refuses the possibility of attending social functions with homosexual friends of mine. I keep focusing on the fatal flaws of the arguments against homosexuality --- the histrionic speeches constantly replayed by the more radical religious leaders that promise an eternity of damnation for those who seek sexual pleasure with individuals of the same gender. Long ago --- I don't remember where or when now --- someone presented a theory to me that homosexuality is rooted in problems during critical stages of early childhood development. If a child is given a reason to mistrust individuals of the opposite sex early in life, that child is more likely to be attracted to the same sex in adulthood. It is unlikely that theory will ever be scientifically proven, but it does give one reason to pause before categorically stating that homosexual behavior is an evil choice by those who engage in it. Whatever one's moral compass may be, it is inherently wrong to punish someone for behavior that is rooted in traumatic life experience. I have known many homosexual and bi-sexual people in my life, and cannot recall anyone who doesn't fit this theory --- at least not out of the individuals I have known well enough to have some idea of what their childhoods had been, myself included. True, the gay community would probably fight to keep that theory from being proven --- they have no desire to have homosexuality in any form added to the annals of psychological disorders again. That would only serve as fuel for the creation of more "de-programming" camps from the fundamentalist Christian churches. It is unfortunate that the one solution that could promote Christian tolerance of the lifestyle is forbidden because of the greater harm it could cause. Perhaps a more enlightened generation will find a way to list it as a benign disorder that requires no treatment. I read once that there was an ancient tradition about the Garden of Eden --- the serpent that tempted Eve was actually God. He forbade Adam the apple on purpose, anticipating that he would disobey --- something every parent knows well, that when a child is forbidden something, there is a certain guarantee the child will try to get it. When Adam didn't on his own, God approached him through Eve --- a principle that is alive and well today, as men are still coerced to action through their mates. Believing that this tradition is true makes more sense. The Christian interpretation implies that God was lacking somehow, and didn't foresee Eve taking the apple. God wanted us to explore and learn --- including sexually. The act is pleasurable not only because of procreation. Man created societal rules for "proper" sexual behavior. If something was not meant to be, it wouldn't. I believe that I am tolerant of others' lifestyles, and do not seek to spread anything other than tolerance to others --- that is who I am. Who are you? Elizabeth Ross Disclaimer Note: The views and comments conveyed in this article are exclusively those of the writer and in no way reflect, in whole or in part, the official or unofficial views, attitudes, or beliefs of River Walk Journal, Inc. |